Wrong Mode
The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, “Surely, it’s not going to rain today?”
And she replied, “Yes it is, and don’t call me Shirley.”
👇
That was when I realized I’d left my phone on Airplane mode.
Category: Laugh, It’s Funny
If you get this then you probably have grey hair. 🦉 🍭
Delete Your Cookies
I’m from tech support, and I’m here to delete your cookies
Fusion Restaurant
My friend booked us a table at a restaurant called The Manhattan Project, and I’m the bad guy for asking if it’s a fusion restaurant?
Who’s on First?
Asking Siri
The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, “Surely, it’s not going to rain today?”
And she replied, “Yes it is, and don’t call me Shirley.”
That was when I realized I’d left my phone on Airplane mode.
Giving My Dog a Pill
Dog: What’s that pill?
Me: It’s flea and tick protection.
Dog: You can’t give that to me, I promised John, Paul, George and Ringo they could stay.
Me: You named your fleas?
Dog: Yes, they’re The Fleatles.
When the Farmer is Away
While farmer Brown was out of town the cows were in the barn smoking weed and playing poker. The steaks were pretty high.
If You Know…
Their father was French
Spectacular Nuts
When squirrels come across an especially spectacular nut, they’ll often gather and stare in amazement… very similar to how they’re looking at you right now.
80s Album Cover
Here’s the new album from BWA (Birds With Attitude)
Just Eat It
I’m not greedy, I’m just hungry. 🤷♂️
Heavy G
If you look closely at the end of the video you can see a Grackle try to land on the suet feeder, but he’s too heavy 🤣
Cough, cough, cough
Bigfoot Area
Statler, Waldorf, and Bernie
via Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CKUuHp6DRL2/
Grocery Shopper
I’m ready to go grocery shopping now
Happy Fats Giving!
The Adipose get all their fat fulfillment from sharing a special space dimensionally defying burger meal ?? ? #tardistake-away #doctorwhoday #happythanksgiving #doctorwho #adipose #burger #fries #whovians #timelord #tardis #alien #illustration #scifi #urbanart #creepycute #illustration #tbt #art
via Instagram
Happy Halloween
via Instagram
Crossfit, Amish Style
via Instagram